Journey Home Part One

They say home is where the heart is but I am afraid my heart is broken into pieces because I have several homes. We were blessed last month to travel to a few of my homes. We arrived at 3:00 in the morning to Entebbe International Airport, I was greeted by the fresh night air with a bit of asphalt and exhaust fumes...such a familiar smell. We were one of the first off the plane as we were seated on the back row. This was nice as we were able to rush through the immunisation check and onto the visa office. It was nice to hear a familiar accent and kind welcome from the officer as he perused through our worn passports looking for an empty page. “ We would like an East African tourist visa” we asked, but he answered you are not tourists...Dave shared, “ Yes, we use to live here for 11 years many years ago”. He quickly gave us our visas and we moved to get our bags. Thankfully all 6 were there and we left the airport with ease but as we glimpsed the crowd of taxi drivers we did not see our friend, we called him on the phone and realised he was on his way. We quickly found some seats with a table in front of a coke kiosk.

      As we sat , we all committed that we had that feeling of belonging and that sense of home that we had not felt yet since moving to Chicagoland. It is funny how when you have not felt a feeling for over 4 years and you feel it again, it is kind of a surprise….a nice surprise...we knew exactly what to do in this situation. There was no thinking or guessing what the crowd was thinking or how we should respond ...it was second nature to us. We felt very comfortable even though everyone was staring at us. Many were asking at first if we wanted a ride but when we sat down they left us alone. Dave went into the shop and bought some chapatis (flat bread) and some passionfruit juice. Now we were really feeling at home! Such familiar sensation in our taste buds.

  Our friend that use to be my taxi driver but now has his own tourist business came and picked us and drove us into Kampala. It was now about 4:30 A.M as we drove on the airport road into Kampala. My mind drifted back on that first drive over 24 years ago when my sister had picked us up at the airport and we had driven this road for the first time. Back then the thing that had jumped out to me was all the coffins that lined the roads from the coffin stores. This was sadly due to the Aids epidemic that was at its highest point , where one in every three people were HIV positive. This time, I could not even find one coffin shop. What struck me, this time was all the houses and businesses that lined the road… and lights, lots of light.

We were being dropped off at the old American Club, which was one of our favorite haunts that we frequented often. Every Monday like clockwork our family would spend our day off at the club. Swimming pool, playground for the children, gym, and American food was such a special treat. It was also a fun social time as many other missionary families would also be around. Even missionary friends that lived up country would come and stay in the guest rooms. This would be our treat for our first day back in Africa to stay one night at the American Club which is now called the Makindye Country Club. I had sent an email requesting an earlier than usual check in of 5:00 AM. We found that the room was all ready. After unloading the car which the staff generously helped us with, we collapsed into our beds.

I was the first to wake up at about 9:00. I was eager to look at everything in the light of the sun. Everything was much as I had remembered with a few renovations and additions done over that years. The breakfast was one of my favorite things that were served at the club. I went and sat in our usual spot, comfy chairs that overlooked the pool area.

As my coffee was brought to me , my mind was flooded with all the memories of conversations that had taken place in this same spot. I was glad that I was up alone. I was able to have some sweet fellowship with the One who had drawn near me all these years and who has been my sweetest confidant these last 4 years in our transition.
As I was sitting there I could almost hear my kids laughing and playing with their friends. As if 20 years ago had not happened yet...I could see my three toe heads bouncing around with little Ruthie running after them ….and later Timothy would be on my lap...no!... Time had past and we had moved to Rwanda after 11 years in Uganda and then had moved to Chicagoland , where we have been living for the past 4 plus years. My oldest daughter had graduated from college and wedded, my two older sons are finishing up their university time, little Ruthie is now a junior in high school and baby Timothy is turning 14 years this month...I reminded myself. No these were not my little kids I saw swimming and laughing in the pool….time had passed...but I could remember and savor those sweet memories...I could be thankful and rejoice that God had allowed us to journey in this land for a season. I was thankful that we had been given a chance to return and to be reminded again that this life happened and it was real!

God's Grace Upon Grace

Last Friday as I was holding the sleeping baby boy that I watch, I was looking out our windows and noticed a large moving truck. We must have new neighbors, I thought. I continued to watch as they unpacked and carried their things in. One item in particular caught my attention ---- a beautiful roll top secretarial desk. My thoughts flashed back to our antique roll top desk that we had in Africa that we had sold as we moved to the U.S.

Our old desk we had in Africa

I had loved that desk and was sad that we were not able to bring it with us. It is funny how grief can pop up its ugly head... I use to think the stages of grief was passed through in a linear fashion but I am discovering all too often you can hop around or sometimes take two steps forward then three steps back. I began to talk to God about my grief and bring my heart to Him.....then I heard a noise and saw they had set the desk off to the side as the movers began moving other items. I was able to get a closer look at the beautiful desk. It had been painted a soft mint green color with an antique finish. For a brief moment I thought, 'oh this would look perfect in my living room'...the seed of envy and coveting was beginning to take root. 

A few years ago a friend, author and women speaker Mimi Wilson had shared a story about how she had envied a beautiful scarf a women had on and as she continued to nurture and feed this sin she felt that it had separated her from her normal intimacy with God. This story and lesson that I had pondered in my heart was used by the Spirit to gently and quickly convict me of my coveting. 

I found myself verbally saying that I was sorry for not being thankful for all the pretty things that God had already given me for my living room and I expressed genuine joy that my neighbors had such a beautiful desk. I immediately felt God's forgiveness. I was so thankful for His grace and thought that was that.......

But the next morning to my amazement my husband came in the house and said ,"Looks like one of our neighbors have thrown out an old roll top desk in the trash, Do you want it?'' I knew the answer to my question before I asked it," Is is green?" --- "Yes' he said ..... Yes, it is mine, a gift from God beyond His grace... " For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace" John 1:16

Our new rolled top desk

I am still overwhelmed by His goodness and grace as I look at this desk now sitting in my living room.... thanks also to the hard work of my husband and boys that carried it in. 

This desk will forever be a symbol of God's grace upon grace that He has poured into my life in the past, present and what is to come! May we all rest in His grace and lean into Him as we journey on.